This was such a positive and useful article. I have indeed been carrying some guilt connected to behavoiur on my part and it occasionally bubbles to the surface and I shove it down because 'it is too late now' and I just have to deal with it. But you have actually offered some action, a strategy, that I can take and I really appreciate that and value it. i am a doer and will now do and let you know if it works! thank you.
Please do, Jennifer! I think the twin acts of forgiving ourselves for who we've been and what we've done, and expressing sorrow and remorse, even if only in private, can bring immense healing 💖
This article is a keeper, Caroline. Thank you for posting this strong yet gentle reminder that it’s possible to change the effects of the past, even if they’re just inside us.
Thank you for commenting and for the lovely restack, Louise. It's such a relief when we realise we don't have to keep holding ourselves hostage to past events we can't change. The change comes when we transform our view of those events.
Love this, Caroline. In Demartini's Breakthrough Experience, we looked at how our dreadful behaviour benefitted the other person, as counterintuitive as it seemed. He explained that there is always a silver lining, even in our worst moments. Maybe that will help lighten the load.
Yvette Taylor's book The Energy Alignment Method is great for releasing stuck energy too.
I was surprised when this old-fashioned word came up so strongly when I did a values exercise a few years ago, Katrina, but it helped me join previously unconnected dots and so much made sense. You're right, I do think it's an essential component of a good relationship. It would be useful for both parties to talk to each other about what honour means for them. Thanks for reading and commenting :)
Indeed it does. As with any agreement, a convenant can only work if all sides whole-heartedly embrace and keep faith with the spirit and detail of it. I once co-wrote a relationship charter with a partner I loved very much. It worked fine until he revealed just how little honour - and our charter - meant to him. We live and learn.
PS - I was referring to honour but covenant is a lovely old-fashioned term and concept too.
This was such a positive and useful article. I have indeed been carrying some guilt connected to behavoiur on my part and it occasionally bubbles to the surface and I shove it down because 'it is too late now' and I just have to deal with it. But you have actually offered some action, a strategy, that I can take and I really appreciate that and value it. i am a doer and will now do and let you know if it works! thank you.
Please do, Jennifer! I think the twin acts of forgiving ourselves for who we've been and what we've done, and expressing sorrow and remorse, even if only in private, can bring immense healing 💖
This article is a keeper, Caroline. Thank you for posting this strong yet gentle reminder that it’s possible to change the effects of the past, even if they’re just inside us.
Thank you for commenting and for the lovely restack, Louise. It's such a relief when we realise we don't have to keep holding ourselves hostage to past events we can't change. The change comes when we transform our view of those events.
Love this, Caroline. In Demartini's Breakthrough Experience, we looked at how our dreadful behaviour benefitted the other person, as counterintuitive as it seemed. He explained that there is always a silver lining, even in our worst moments. Maybe that will help lighten the load.
Yvette Taylor's book The Energy Alignment Method is great for releasing stuck energy too.
I love the fact you write ‘honour is deeply important to me’. That’s especially true in the marriage covenant I think.
I was surprised when this old-fashioned word came up so strongly when I did a values exercise a few years ago, Katrina, but it helped me join previously unconnected dots and so much made sense. You're right, I do think it's an essential component of a good relationship. It would be useful for both parties to talk to each other about what honour means for them. Thanks for reading and commenting :)
‘Honour’ or ‘covenant’? Hopefully I try to value both. A ‘covenant’ means so much more than a ‘contract’.
Indeed it does. As with any agreement, a convenant can only work if all sides whole-heartedly embrace and keep faith with the spirit and detail of it. I once co-wrote a relationship charter with a partner I loved very much. It worked fine until he revealed just how little honour - and our charter - meant to him. We live and learn.
PS - I was referring to honour but covenant is a lovely old-fashioned term and concept too.