It Isn't All in Your Mind
Sometimes we forget to check the fundamentals
Hi, I’m Caroline Ferguson – mindset trainer, therapist and storyteller. Every two weeks I publish a free article like this one, giving tips on building a healthy, resilient, self-aware state of mind, with the odd story thrown in. I’m glad to see you here.
I was in a session with a mindset training client
I’d been supporting her with weekly catch-ups while she launched a new membership programme in her coaching business. At the start of the session, I asked how she was doing.
“Not brilliant,” she admitted. “The mindset stuff’s been a struggle and I feel low compared to last week. I think I’m going backwards.”
I looked at the grey circles under her eyes. “How have you been sleeping?” I asked.
“Hah, what’s sleep!” It turned out her partner was away on a work trip and she was dealing with an eight-year-old with chicken pox as well as her launch.
“How about food – are you eating properly?”
“Um, not exactly…” In fact not at all – she hadn’t sat down to a proper meal in days. (Last time I looked, cheese strings and chocolate Hob Nobs were not on the list of essential food groups.)
“How much water are you drinking?” I asked, feeling a bit like the grand inquisitor.
“Does coffee count?”
I raised an eyebrow.
Her laugh said it all. “OK, point taken, mum.”
It was a useful reminder that sometimes, mindset isn’t the only thing that trips us up. Even the strongest goals and healthiest set of beliefs can’t make up for exhaustion, inadequate fuel and an overwhelming schedule.
It isn’t an indulgence to prioritise taking care of ourselves
Consistently successful people know developing the right mindset isn’t enough to help them maintain peak performance across the different areas of their lives. They have to look after themselves physically, mentally and emotionally too. Relying on adrenaline and cortisol to see us through is not a sustainable strategy.
It sounds obvious, doesn’t it? But how many of us really look after ourselves?
This isn’t a lesson I especially heeded until a few years ago, when I started getting curious about self-leadership. So curious, in fact, that I ended up building a framework to help me up-level how I showed up in my own life.
One of the pillars I identified for conscous self-leadership is radical self-care. Ever since then, looking after myself has been non-negotiable and I cheerlead my clients to follow suit.
My self-care includes:
eating a nutrition-packed green smoothie five days a week
a daily walk in nature
seven hours sleep, and a quick nap when I feel tired
regular check-ins – physical, mental and emotional, asking myself, “What’s leading me to feel like this?” and “What does my body/mind/heart need right now?”
giving myself permission to say ‘yes’ and ‘no’ in a more deliberate way
making creativity and play an essential part of my activities.
What commitments have you made in terms of deliberately looking after yourself? I’d love to be inspired by your stories.
Speaking of the four pillars of self-leadership…
Often mindset work focuses on dismantling unhelpful beliefs, emotions and habits. Self-leadership work moves us into the more advanced territory of building, rather than taking down. It’s about deliberately forging a belief-set and approach that can help us live more meaningful, more successful lives.
On the last Wednesday of the month I run a 75-minute mindset coaching session for paying subscribers. This month we’ll be exploring my four pillars of self-leadership and running through the skills we need to become more effective masters of ourselves.
If you’re a free subscriber and you’d like to take part, you can upgrade for just £12 a month (or £80 for a year).
I promise you won’t find this quality of training for that crazy a fee anywhere else. Just make sure you join before our next session on Weds 30th October.
That’s all for now.
I’m keeping it short this week. It was my birthday over the weekend and in an act of radical self-care 😄 I decided to spend more of it with my family and on the beach, and less of it slaving over a hot Substack.
Take care and much love,
Hope you had a lovely birthday, Caroline! I have started to exchange getting less done in exchange for more relaxing evenings. It's very easy to blur lines between work and household/family duties as I write at home, but my energy isn't what it used to be. Life is too short to be burning the candle at both ends. Been there, done burn out...never again, thank you.