What do you need less of in your life?
Goal-setting isn't just about what you do, it's also about what you don't do.
Hi there, if you’re new here, welcome to ‘Something More’. I’m Caroline Ferguson, therapist and mindset trainer. If you’d like to see more of my posts, or benefit from monthly mindset group-coaching sessions, please do subscribe.
I’ve spent this year so far thinking, talking and teaching about goal-setting.
My focus has been on showing my clients and subscribers how to envision the life they want and deserve, how to identify the areas that most need changing, and how to set robust, actionable goals they’re more likely to meet.
That’s the ‘adding something’ aspect of aiming for the life they could be living.
But there’s another important part that many people forget: one that can be the number one reason why we struggle to achieve our goals and resolutions.
And that’s the ‘taking something away’ part.
When we’re trying to focus on new intentions, if we simply load more obligations onto our already-full lives, we’re setting ourselves up to fail. Our beautiful goal that seemed so mouth-watering a couple of weeks ago can quickly start to feel like a burden if we’re overwhelmed by the sheer amount of ‘stuff’ we have going on.
We need to strip out the unnecessary clutter that jams up our minds, gobbles up precious time and space and drains our concentration.
If we don’t regularly audit where we are, we’ll just keep dragging all our unwanted old-life stuff around with us, creating friction and blocking us from making space for our new lives.
No wonder only nine percent of people achieve their new year’s resolutions!
Here’s today’s question to reflect on:
What do you need LESS of in your life?
I have plans for the future that warm my heart and cause a bubbling up of joy when I think about them. Plans involving music, other forms of creativity, and growing this substack.
But I know those good things can only happen if I give them room to breathe. To make space, I’ve come up with a list of things I’m going to jettison, which I’ll share with you further down.
What are you going to let go of this year to free up time, space and energy to make meaningful changes to your life?
To get you started, here are five suggestions of things to ditch:
1️⃣ Limiting Beliefs
EXAMPLES: “I can never follow through”… “Who am I kidding”… “It’s too late to change”…
WHY LET GO? Beliefs like these lead to self-doubt and hold us back from becoming our ‘something more’. Decide, right now, that you’re not going to carry those old defeatist habits into your future.
TRY INSTEAD: Adopt self-supporting beliefs, like: ‘I’m determined to swap my unhelpful stories for new, empowering beliefs. I KNOW I can change how I think, feel and act.’
2️⃣ Relationships that no longer contain any enjoyment or value
EXAMPLES: negative, energy-sucking friendships; unsupportive, self-serving family members; manipulative partners who constantly criticise, bully and belittle you.
WHY LET GO? These relationships drain your energy, confidence and emotional well-being. They keep you feeling stuck and resentful.
TRY INSTEAD: Choose to be with good people who uplift and inspire you, support your goals and are a pleasure to spend time with.
3️⃣ Unhelpful habits
EXAMPLES: Procrastination, junk food addiction, excessive screen time, skipping exercise.
WHY LET GO? These habits undermine your physical and mental health and sap your productivity and focus.
TRY INSTEAD: Commit to healthy new habits like clean eating, limiting screen-time, exercising daily and spending time in nature. Take baby steps.
4️⃣ Clutter
EXAMPLES: broken or unused items, unworn clothes, digital clutter (old emails), a messy workspace, or mental clutter in the shape of unnecessary worries.
WHY LET GO? Clutter creates stress and distraction and takes up not just physical space but head-space too, making it harder to focus on your goals.
TRY INSTEAD: Simplify your environment with regular decluttering and focus on what’s truly essential. Notice what you worry about and give yourself permission to fix those things or let them go. Getting rid of all that ‘stuff’, physical and mental, can feel truly liberating.
5️⃣ Negative self-talk
EXAMPLES: Constantly criticizing yourself, focusing on failures or catastrophising.
WHY LET GO? Unhelpful self-talk erodes your confidence. It prevents you from taking risks and recovering from setbacks.
TRY INSTEAD: Build your self-awareness so you can catch, challenge and change self-critical thoughts when they arise.
Our next live mindset training session is on this very topic: How to Hear, Challenge and Change Your Self-Talk. If you’re not yet a paying member, subscribe for a month on the link above and join us on Wednesday 29th January for only £12.
Other unhelpful things to let go of:
Saying yes to everything – stop the old habit of overcommitment and focus on a few important things.
People pleaseing and prioritising others’ needs over your own – give yourself permission to put yourself first.
Comparisons – constantly measuring yourself against others is irrelevant, negative and keeps you small.
Grudges and resentments – allow yourself to let go of old disappointments and the need to be right.
Your comfort zone – try new things, even if it feels uncomfortable at first.
Activities you hate that you can afford to outsource – like cleaning your home, or doing your tax return.
What’s taking up too much time and head-space for too little return?
What labour-intensive ways of doing things can you streamline? Which boundaries will you enforce so that you’re not constantly giving to those who take you for granted? What no-longer-needed items can you find a new home for?
I’d love to hear in the comments what you’re committing to let go of. I’m happy to volunteer mine first.
I’m choosing to streamline my life in three areas:
I live (happily) nomadically and have spent the last five years on the road. In the beginning I was pretty good at getting rid of unnecessary stuff. Recently, though, I’ve taken my eye off the ball and my car is groaning at the seams.
I commit to: decluttering and reducing the amount I carry by at least one third.Way too much screen time!
I commit to: cutting that in half by removing the Facebook app from my phone. I’ll reduce my scrolling time to 15 mins a day on my laptop.Too much buying, leading to too much non-crucial stuff:
I commit to: not buying a single new item of clothing or tech gear for the rest of this year, unless it’s to replace something essential that’s worn out.
Tell me, my darlings, what are you choosing to let go of?
‘Til next time, sending big freedom love,
